Matthew Claxton, Langley Advance

It's not often I get to share my wisdom with others. Not because I don't like to share, it's just that I have a sad deficit of wisdom.

But finally, three of Langley's political leaders should be looking to me for advice. Not on taxes, urban planning, the environment or health.

No, they'll want to know all about leg waxing.

You may recall that around this time last year, I was raising money for the Canadian Cancer Society's Langley Relay for Life. (I'm doing it again this year too.) In support of a very worthy cause, I offered to have my legs waxed if I met a certain total. Well, thanks to my friends and family (who seemed quite gleeful about this) and some anonymous contributors, I doubled my goal, and more than $1,100 was donated to the Cancer Society.

I dutifully presented my legs and had the hair ripped free. At least my pain can give guidance to some more leg waxers.

Both Langley Mayors, Rick Green of the Township and Peter Fassbender of the City, along with MP Mark Warawa, are also vowing to have their legs denuded of hair, for the Langley Leg Up campaign.

So here's my advice:
- When they ask if you want to be waxed above the knee, you say "No!"
It's awkward and embarrassing enough to be publicly waxed, but no one wants to see their public officials wearing short-shorts in public. I also suspect that the public officials in question would like to avoid being seen in that way.
- Go for a jog
It hurts less if there's a more muscle under the skin, is what I've been told. This may not have helped me much, but it seems like good advice for people who still have a couple of weeks to prepare.
- Try not to think about it
Of course, your mind will wander during the next few weeks, thinking about the upcoming waxing. How much will it hurt? Will there be blood? Will I cry like a five-year-old lost in a department store?
You'll imagine the feeling of each hair being torn free, one by agonizing one, each strand more painful than the last.
But, you know, try to think about something else. I hear the Canucks are in the playoffs.
- Don't invest in shorts
You'll look a little strange for a while, especially if you follow my advice about below-the-knee-only waxing. I had to wait until August before I could wear shorts again. It was a long, hot summer.
- Look on the bright side
The shiny gleam off your legs will be useful for scaring squirrels away from the bird feeder in the backyard.
- It really doesn't hurt that much
Shhh, don't tell anyone. It's not that bad. You can bite the bullet and do it without, you know, biting an actual bullet. I recommend feigning some pain, however. The audience will want to be entertained.

However much it stings, these three folks are doing a lot to advance a great cause. I know that Fassbender (who will also give up his trademark moustache if he gets a single $1,000 donation) has been a big Relay supporter for years, as a cancer survivor.

You can donate at any of the following locations: Van City in Walnut Grove or Willoughby, any Aldergrove Credit Union location, Otter Co-op, Mi Casa Spa in Fort Langley, Township of Langley mayor's office, or the City of Langley mayor's office.

You can also donate to the Leg Up online by visiting the web page set up at http://tinyurl.com/dxlfnn.